"rel8able queer experiences" by Katie Romiti
Talk to me about the wanting. Subtle gazes
faces lit by streetlights
green, then yellow, then red Half a thought of
here, or on the beach, or in the car warm and safe and cozy
but breaklights stoplights red lights my loving you would be unwanted.
I am told that I am obvious
my eyes lingering on lips
but maybe that’s only with men.
The power of the queer mind
is that no one has the confidence
to think the other person wants it too.
So maybe, yes, as we buckle in to the last roller coaster ride of the night cool summer air
blowing off the ocean
and i feel breathless
and i see your gently parted lips
smiling as the ride starts
lifting us up
swinging us around
yes, maybe I am not so subtle
but I am locked in by metal bars
and by the knowledge that we spent
the last four hours talking about boys
so it doesn’t matter, anyway.
I wonder, haphazardly, what would have happened if instead of admitting i’m an adrenaline
i lied, said i was scared of heights
Would you have held my hand?
Would we have spent the night on the shore instead water on our feet
love, in our hearts?