• Flux Magazine

"K1" / "When I looked in your eyes" / "If Love ever pays a visit" by Caprial Koe


I can’t save the girl who chases the wind

Blown white dust on the road just to feel alive

Who chases smoke in the distance to blur her anxieties

I can’t save the girl who lays in the street 

Because she likes the rush of the cars as they go over her

But that rush she yearns for gets her run 

over again and again and again

I can’t keep being the white dashes on the street

Trying to keep her in line

Trying to keep her safe

My paint is fading 

My heart is cracked

Striking against the contrast of the blacktop

as a final plea to tell her to stand up and chase the stars instead of the smoke

and the dashes instead of the dust 

Because somewhere down this old cracking road is the destination she’s been waiting for all her life.

When I looked in your eyes...

Expecting you to be there

Expecting you to care 

Is exhausting

As I get lost in the echo

Of your hollow words

Whispers of emotions 

You didn’t feel

Telling others of first sight 

and first touch

but truly not recalling them

I became the victim 

Of your “three word lie”

As I feel my heart die

knowing you can never

knowing you will never

Feel the way I felt

when I looked into your eyes

If Love ever pays a visit

I will guard my heart with every door knock with every text

with every call

Through it all, I won't believe

That this so­called "Love" won't leave

I got trust issues I perceive

Because Love took everyone around me

Without ever grazing my skin

Watching as I wallowed, Love sat with a malicious grin Knowing the insecurities would consume me

Using self­inflicted insults to reduce me

To who I am today

A self­deprecating loner

who would let Fear and Sadness in the door But Love no more

Because if Love ever pays a visit

I won't believe it anymore.

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